


Michael (And Connor Get High) In the Bathroom

by zoeticValidation



Series: This is the Thunderdome [4]
Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz, Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Angst, But Only a Little Bit - Freeform, Connor and Michael are the only real characters, Connor and Michael are totally moirails guys, I also put a night vale intern name as a throwaway character, I just needed soft boys smoking in the bathroom, M/M, Mentions of a Heathers character, Pining, Recreational Drug Use, everyone else is just mentioned, serious pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-24
Updated: 2017-07-24
Packaged: 2018-11-05 23:29:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,367
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11023842
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zoeticValidation/pseuds/zoeticValidation
Summary: Michael Mell and Connor Murphy aren't so different.





	Michael (And Connor Get High) In the Bathroom

**Author's Note:**

> Let's play a game called, "Who Can Spot All the Homestuck References?".

“No but like, you don’t get it Murphy. He’s just like totally oblivious to everything I say! And then he says shit like, ‘You’re my favorite person!’ and I just fucking-” Michael clenched his fists before throwing his hands up in the air.

Connor giggled, fucking _giggled_ , before he slapped Michael on the shoulder and handed him the blunt with his other hand. “Dude you need to fucking calm down. Take a hit of this shit man.”

The two teenagers were sitting on the floor of the boy’s bathroom at their school. The school day had ended an hour ago, not that they’d been there, and Connor and Michael had decided to meet up in the bathroom to hang out. They had a peace agreement with the janitor, so they’d be able to make it back out of the school without getting caught or being locked in.

Michael barely hesitated before taking the joint and lighting up. His nose wrinkled for a second but he relaxed into it. When Michael took the blunt away from his mouth looked at Connor with a confused expression.

“That sure as hell wasn’t weed? What the fuck are we smoking exactly?”

Connor shrugged. “I don’t fucking know. Ram had some weird fucking drugs he wanted to get rid of so I told him I’d take ‘em off his hands.”

Michael raised a skeptical eyebrow. “Aren’t you a little concerned? I mean this shit could kill us.”

Connor relaxed and let his back rest against the wall of the bathroom. “Pfft. Whatever. Anyway, as you were whining?”

Michael groaned and facepalmed. “Connor I don’t know what I’m gonna do! He keeps going on about Christine Canigula and I’m just standing there trying to be a supportive friend but I can’t help but be a little pissed at her.” He passed Connor the joint.

Connor scoffed after taking a drag. “You think you have problems? Do you know how hard it is to watch your best friend choose your sister over you?”

Michael visibly cringed. “That sounds horrible.”

Connor sighed. “It’s pretty shitty. And I want to be mad at Zoe, but what chance would I even fucking have you know?”

Michael nods and takes back the joint. “I feel you man. You’d think after years of friendship you’d be worth a little more than a girl that’s he’s never even talked to!”

Connor sagged. “It’s not like he has a chance anyway. Alana Beck is twice the go-getter he is, there’s no way he’ll talk to Zoe first.”

Michael took another hit before passing the blunt back to Connor. “Alana Beck? Straight A, 4.8 GPA, probably most aro-ace person I’ve ever seen? No way, I thought she didn’t have time for “romantic attachments” or whatever the hell she calls them.”

“I don’t know dude. I thought Christine was the ace one? Didn’t Rich Goranski try to ask her out in freshman year? She also turned down Jake Dillinger right?” said Connor, then taking another drag before finally putting the weird joint down. Michael didn’t seem so keen an reusing it either.

Michael shook his head. “Nah man, she turned them down because she has standards. Rich kind of turned out to be a dick somewhere around the end of freshman year and Jake Dillinger changes girls like he changes extracurriculars.”

Connor started chuckling. “C’mon Mell, we both know Jakey-D is gayer than both of us combined.” Michael nodded.

“Can’t argue with that. I think he’s probably still closeted though. I’d feel bad if he wasn’t such a jerk.”

Connor groaned. “I know right? Wait hold on I’m getting a text.” He grabbed his cellphone out of his pocket to check his messages.

\-- anxiousAcorn [AA] began texting chaoticCreation [CC] at 16:20 [30/5/17] --  
  
AA: hhey  
AA: sorry if im bothering you and michael  
AA: who am i kiddng of course im bothering you  
AA: welll anyway i just wanted to knw whether you were still pllaning to come over to work on that spanish project

Connor sighed, exasperated, and showed Michael the text. Michael grabbed the phone out of Connor’s hands and nearly dropped it because of how delayed the response was from his brain to his hands. He held the phone close to his face and still had to squint even with his glasses on.

“What the fuck am I looking at.”

Connor snatched the phone back. “He texted me about the spanish project that I forgot about. He’s got a bad case of shaky hands so forget about trying to read it coherently.” Connor looked back down at his phone and typed out a response.

CC: Yeah, I’m still coming. Michael and I were just finishing up.  
CC: I’ll be there as soon as the janitor lets us know that the coast is clear.  
CC: To be honest I completely forgot about the fucking spanish project though.  
CC: I was just going to come over to crash at your place.

Michael had crawled over and started reading the response over Connor’s shoulder. Connor almost started to nervously sweat until Michael said, “That might just be the most desperate thing I’ve ever read.”

Connor shoved him away. “Shut the fuck up Mell, at least I don’t get a “no homo” shutdown every time I talk to him.” Michael scowled.

“Murphy you are so full of shit. When was the last time you ever heard anyone use the no homo shutdown unironically?”

“Chill dude. The last thing we want is for this to devolve into an angry stoner make-out session.” Connor put his hands up in surrender while Michael started to pack up his shit.

Connor looked down at the message again and a sad look came over his face. “I just wish he could see that he’s not as annoying as he thinks he is. He wasn’t even bothering anything!” Michael looked at Connor, and then at his backpack and nodded silently.

“You just wish you could help him see that he’s already worth it right? That he’s already cool even though nobody else sees it?” remarked Michael. He seemed a little distant.

“Yes! Of course I do, but it’s like nothing I’ve done over the years has mattered at all!” Connor slammed his fist into the bathroom sink, not even registering any pain that came with slamming a hand against a stone sink.

Michael smiled ~~sadly~~ smugly. “Calm down Murphy. What was that about angry stoner makeouts again?”

“That you were totally up for one?” retorted Connor. If Michael was going to be a little shit, two could play at that game. Michael rolled his eyes.

“Whatever! Let’s just go already okay? Also remind me to never let you bring the drugs again. I can’t remember the last time I got a headache this bad from just smoking.” Michael rubbed his temples and looked around, dazed.

Connor made a noise of agreement. “Ram has some weird shit, but all that crap did was make the colors too fucking bright. It didn’t even dull any of my existential angst.”

“Same. I could’ve smoked a Twix bar and gotten a better high than this.” said Michael, who grabbed his phone to call the janitor.

“Hey Danielle. Is the coast clear?” asked Michael. Connor grabbed the joint on the floor and flicked into the trash. Waste of 20 bucks.

Michael looked a little concerned. “What do you mean there’s a faculty meeting today?” He paused as Danielle spoke. “Okay, we’ll wait for you to “escort us” out of the building. Jeez we aren’t five years old Dani.”

Connor facepalmed. “She literally has to come get us? We should have thought about the stupid board meeting today. I wasn’t listening to announcements.”

Michael leaned against the wall. “Neither did I buddy.”

The two boys stood in awkward silence for about half a minute before Michael put his face in his hands and said, “We really don’t have a chance with either of them do we?”

Connor looked at his dejected friend and pulled him into a weird, one armed hug. He had no real comfort to offer Michael so he just patted him on the back and said, “No. No we don’t.”

**Author's Note:**

> Connor only tries in AP English and types with capitalization and grammar fight me if you disagree. Also, of course Evan has shaky hands when texting (I'm totally not projecting)


End file.
